Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
