but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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