How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
how drunk are you?
Several
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
