An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Randomize
