They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I think your dad took our porno
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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