Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
