is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
