Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
