he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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