dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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