So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
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