dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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