I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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