it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
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