So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
