We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
so let's talk penis.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
