How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
The best revenge is premature balding
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
