you're like a bully in the Christmas story
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
