Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
