yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
