so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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