Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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