no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
