that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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