It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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