They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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