Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
