Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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