I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
