are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
