Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
he laminated a picture of his dick.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
