hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
