when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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