Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
