I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
