So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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