Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
