If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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