were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
