I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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