I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
