my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
