The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
What changed your mind?
Being sober
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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