apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
