Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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