Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
