I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
