I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
