Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
