You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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